Or all the time....
All I know is, right now my life feels like the world's biggest.
So, I have been home from the mission now for about three months, I can hardly believe that its been so short a time. It feels like its been forever, and yet I find myself still entangled in post-mission confusion. Sometimes I feel like this isnt my real life, like I dont know what my purpose is. Sometimes I feel like Im drowning in doubt. Some days I just want to go back to the mission. It was safe there, I knew what i had to be doing every minute of every day. And i knew there was a specific beginning and end to every activity, including the mission as a whole. Out here, in "the World", I don't know when things begin and end, everything's all muddled together. I doubt everything; my ability to get a job, my major, my financial situation, my dating life, the support of my friends- sometimes I feel like I dont have any friends at all.
And I dont know whats wrong with me, because other times I feel just the opposite. I wish that all those bad feelings would just go away.
Crap, I feel really whiny right now, but its good to get stuff off your chest, I guess. And I promise I dont feel like this all the time, just every once in a while. I just had to vent.
